WHAT’S ON TOP? Tragedy as a source of strength . . . Helen Kinsey-Wightman
I have always believed that it is not solely the events that occur in our life that shape us; but our response to them which builds up a bank of bravery and resilience that we can draw from and build upon. I am fortunate to have a partner who is also a teacher . . . although years ago when my mother suggested that marrying a teacher might be a practical option allowing for shared school holidays and the potential for overseas travel together, I replied that I had never met a teacher I fancied! Sometime after meeting my partner (who was obviously the exception) I met up with my lawyer and she asked if my new relationship was going well – when I replied that it was great she said, “Oh, so he must be a teacher too!” I was surprised and asked how she knew. She said that in her long experience of marriage successes and failures some professions work better together than others, “Police officers and nurses work well together, and teachers . . . .” there was a long, slightly uncomfortable pause, “well . . . they only seem to really work with other teachers!” While I have plenty of teacher friends who are happily married to non-teachers (builders seem to feature strongly amongst the most successful actually) there are real advantages to a relationship with another teacher and shared school holidays are right up there. In the last holiday Sean and I went down to Christchurch – the first time either of us had been back post-earthquakes. We had bought tickets for the Dave Dobbyn/Don McGlashan concert in the Cardboard Cathedral. For me (don’t tell Don and Dave) it was less about the music choice than the venue – I am probably The Edge’s oldest listener and although I am beginning to realise that the music I grew up with is now all over Classic Hits I refuse to relive my teenage years wearing less cool clothing. My 11 year old son may not rate my coolness quotient quite as highly as I do and even my 3 year old says, “Don’t sing Mummy” when I try to join in with his Noddy CD, however, I think it is less humiliating to be 45 and know the words to Miley’s Wrecking Ball than to be caught singing along to “Like a Virgin” at the traffic lights! The concert was great – the venue cast a little bit of magic on to the occasion which all of us recognised – not least Dave and Don. One of the great aspects of the evening was the repartee between the 2 artists – they had been touring NZ’s churches for several weeks and are about to embark on a tour of Australia and – somewhat surprisingly – Abu Dhabi. One of Dave’s comments
about Christchurch was that he had heard it referred to as a war zone – he said emphatically and to much applause, “It’s not a war zone it’s a peace zone!” For me, walking around Christchurch the next day it was hard not to compare it to a warzone – just opposite the Transitional Cathedral is the site of the CTV building and a memorial featuring a white chair for each of the 185 lives lost in the 6.3 quake that hit Christchurch on 22 February 2011, and, near the newly opened Hotel 115 where we stayed, the partly demolished Cathedral building itself. Despite the shock of the changed central city and the sadness of the baby chairs amongst the white painted seats; what gives the city a sense of hope amongst the destruction are the myriad of small art projects, cafés and businesses that have established themselves on temporary sites around the city. There are cafés in caravans with seated areas created from pallets interspersed with planters and of course the famous RE:Start project where we ate wood fired pizza before the concert, in an outdoor restaurant with a kitchen in a shipping container. Artists have used coloured plastic squares inserted into wire fencing to brighten up areas out of bounds to the public and there are city council sponsored seating areas, gardens and murals. I have my partner to thank for my own response to the tragedy that was the closure of my small, rural school. My job-hunting had not yet produced a new job – despite being shortlisted and interviewed for every job I had applied for. When the Deputy Principalship of the local Girl’s High School was advertised I talked myself out of applying – notwithstanding that my work overseas as Principal of a large international school incorporating a pre-school, primary and high school and my experience in New Zealand meant that I had all the skills necessary. Instead, I focussed on what I felt were the glaring deficits in my experience – namely my lack of New Zealand secondary training and NCEA experience. According to Hilary Devey – the straight talking Lancashire pallet entrepreneur on the UK version of Dragon’s Den, in a programme that sought to find out why there are not more woman at the executive and board level in businesses – it is typical of women to focus on the deficits in their skills. With relentless encouragement from Sean, I did apply and was successful. I know that I will be drawing on the bank of bravery and resilience I have built up over the years as I take up my new position – I hope my approach to the challenges will be as creative and hopeful as Christchurch’s.