Homophobic bullying, suicide and the primary school Gerard Farrelly Principal of Goresbridge NS, Co. Kilkenny
Part I John was a gentle, introverted young man who was twelve years old when he went home from school one Wednesday afternoon and, knowing that his mother and father would be at work until late afternoon, he hung himself by his school tie from the banisters and was found later by his older brother. At the inquest into John’s death it transpired that he had been repeatedly subjected to verbal taunts about his perceived sexuality. He had been called ‘gay boy’, ‘faggot’, ‘queer’, ‘poof ’ and many other derogatory names for a number of years. Although hard to believe and accept, this began at a very young age in primary school and continued into his first year of secondary school. John was confused and had told his sister about how he was being treated at school. No one else knew. He had been trying to ignore the comments but it reached the point when he could not cope anymore and became despairing. At this point he hung himself. Fifteen-year-old Dominic Crouch was driven to suicide last year after constant playground taunting that he was gay. He threw himself off the roof of a town car park. The tragedy was revisited when his heartbroken father, Roger, was found dead having taken his own life. Paul was 21 when he returned from the pub one afternoon, carefully and calmly folded his clothes on the river bank and walked into the river. He didn’t return. The taunting began in primary school. You name it, he was called it – ‘poofter’, ‘faggot’, ‘gayboy’; the list is endless. I know because we were friends growing up. His heartbroken parents and brother have never got over it. It is something I have never forgotten. Rod Stewart once said in his song the ‘Killing of Georgie’ – ‘He was gay I guess, nothing more and nothing less.’ The fact that Paul, Dominic and John were in secondary school when they took their own lives is to be treated with some circumspection. These young men began their short lives in a primary school like the ones we manage every day. Their experience of primary school may have been what we expect it to be but then again it may not. Bullying is a form of behaviour which I would think all primary school principals have knowledge and experience of, whether between children, staff, parents, ourselves or within our community. There are so many different definitions of what constitutes ‘bullying behaviour’ and there are many different aspects of behaviour involved. Bullying may be emotional, psychological, physical, verbal or sexual in nature and may encompass one or more of these categories. Often bullying is associated with an abuse of power where one person or more holds power over another in some way. Many theorists have expounded as to the reasons why and how human beings engage
in such behaviour and I’m sure we all have our own theories too, but from a very early age we know that children will hurt each other through bullying behaviour and that it is also possible to find bullying behaviour amongst adults, both inside and outside our schools. It’s possibly quite hard to imagine that forms of bullying such as homophobic bullying are relevant in the context of the Irish primary school. You often hear that it is not possible for children this young to understand what is said to them and therefore it is not hurtful. However, I believe there is no doubt that children in our schools are, to a lesser or greater extent, experiencing and using language of a sexual nature which can be directed towards others in both an aggressive and non-aggressive mode. With the advent of the internet and an increasingly advanced technological age, children are more than aware about sex and sexuality, including homosexuality, and the language associated with it, both positive and negative. Contrary to popular opinion, children understand a lot more than they are given credit for. Language used in a derogatory way and directed towards children can result in serious detrimental emotional harm and this is often carried forward into adulthood. International research endorses the view that children who experience homophobic bullying can have extraordinary difficulties creating and sustaining relationships as is the case with other forms of bulling, but with homophobic bullying it can be even more extreme. They can become withdrawn, aggressive and schoolphobic and often experience suicidal ideation from a very young age. For some children it can be unbearable and sadly they choose to end their own lives. There are many different signs and symptoms which need to be recognised. I’m not advocating that principals act as psychologists or psychiatrists; just that we become more aware. Bullying is such a difficult thing to understand and to deal with. School policies on bullying invariably do not allude to this form of sexualised bullying because it is something we would associate with secondary schools and something we are perhaps wary of. Part II Homophobic bullying has been found to be a major issue in an Irish context, as the work of Dr James O’Higgins-Norman in DCU testifies. I recently completed my doctoral studies on the topic of homophonic bullying in Irish primary schools. Primary school principals were the main focus of my research. I set about looking for evidence that homophobic bullying was and indeed is an issue in Irish primary schools today. I found some very interesting statistics which are of great importance to us as primary principal teachers and require
Why is human sexuality such a difficult issue for so many of us? Sexuality is still to my mind the great ‘unsaid’, the last taboo. Do we choose our own sexuality or is it part of our genetic make-up? Whichever answer we choose to give, I personally feel that this affects how we perceive this type of bullying behaviour. In my view, a societal and cultural reluctance to fully accept homosexuality creates a diffusion and displacement of responsibility, where the consequences of bullying are attributed to the fact that not everyone fully accepts the equality of homosexual relationships and this lends itself to bullying behaviour. International research shows that many teachers don’t challenge this form of bullying behaviour at all, because they are unsure how to go about it, or frightened of the association between sexual identity and sexual activity. I don’t believe any teacher consciously ignores such behaviour. Fifty per cent of respondents to my research stated that teachers don’t ignore this behaviour but international research unfortunately suggests that a percentage do. Do our schoolchildren endure stress and Perhaps even worse than taunting and abuse is silence. If your lifestyle, your family, your friends misery as homophobic abuse and nameor your own identity are simply not represented calling go unnoticed or unchallenged anywhere in your school environment, it makes it a very lonely place indeed. It is not just in terms of or do we tackle it head on like any other the children in our care but teachers too. Teachers in our schools may identify themselves as being form of bullying behaviour? gay but are afraid to be open about their sexuality for fear of rebuke, ridicule or worse. Forty-two children yet only 50 per cent of principals want homosexuality per cent of principals stated they were happy to discuss their to be dealt with in SPHE and RSE. Sexuality is a fundamental sexuality with staff while 52 per cent were not. I’m not suggesting part of our human condition so why do only half of principals that there should be a great ‘love-in’ in our school staffrooms, but it is food for thought! surveyed feel comfortable including it in the curriculum? Bullying is an age-old issue that schools take very seriously. I was always curious as to why the word ‘gay’ is bandied about so readily in the yard/playground, and why as educators we Homophobic name-calling is something that needs to be sometimes accept its use. If young children use the term ‘gay’ challenged at every airing, and this includes the off-the-cuff consciously as a term of abuse or even as friendly banter, does remarks at matches and on the school yard. If casual antithis perpetuate the view that being gay is a bad thing? Does our homosexual remarks or ‘humour’ are tolerated, inevitably sexuality only become an issue once we enter secondary school? harsher language becomes more acceptable. Homophobic Do our children really not understand what is being said to language needs to be struck from usage to protect our children them? Is sexuality relevant for us as primary school teachers from the despair experienced by the likes of John, Paul, Dominic and principals? Where primary teachers challenge the use of and their families. This is not about political correctness. the term, is it to silence it rather than to try and address any Eradicating prejudice actually saves lives. On one level this is not about whether someone is gay. When someone is identified as negative connotations? The question I am posing to us all as principal teachers is this: being ‘different’ in any way, it often justifies the actions of others Do our schoolchildren endure stress and misery as homophobic in labelling them in a derogatory way. Bandura’s psychological theory argues that human beings abuse and name-calling go unnoticed or unchallenged or do we tackle it head on like any other form of bullying behaviour? Is it engage in something called ‘euphemistic labelling’ whereby possible that homophobic name-calling is passing into everyday we underplay the significance of the language of homophobia parlance, including in our primary schools? You may well feel because we feel children don’t understand what is being said. We this is not an issue in your school, in which case I am genuinely might not accept the seriousness of the name-calling because ‘it’s delighted. But almost two thirds (61 per cent) of the principals only banter’ or perceived not to be understood. But for every I questioned believe that homophobic bullying is an issue in Paul, Dominic and John driven to the extreme act of suicide, primary schools. If we were to generalise these figures then over there are many more young people left scarred by homophobia 1,900 primary schools in Ireland are facing this difficult issue. and by the failure of adults to tackle it and challenge the language used. The key issue is – how do we deal with it? Schoolchildren often say being called gay is the worst possible insult that can be thrown at them. Why is that? A recent survey Part I of this article was first published in Leadership+, Issue 68 conducted recently by the charity ‘Beatbullying’ among some (April 2012), page 18. 1,200 primary and secondary children in the UK showed that 81 per cent of primary age respondents saw the use of the word Part II of this article was first published in Leadership+, Issue 69 ‘gay’ as a way of attacking or making fun of someone. (June 2012), page 26. our understanding and leadership. One hundred principals completed questionnaires and I also interviewed principal teachers to ascertain their level of knowledge and understanding relating to this issue. All principals questioned recognised the effects of bullying as being extremely harmful and 98.4 per cent believed that bullying behaviour would be identified in some form in Irish primary schools. It should give us great solace to know that principal teachers have a very good understanding of bullying in general. What I found alarming is the data pertaining to homophobic bullying and sexuality. 92 per cent of principals questioned had experienced children in their care being called gay and, in more than a quarter of cases (27 per cent), their pupils had experienced violence because others had perceived them to be gay. Eighty-nine per cent of principals recognised the harm caused by homophobic derogatory labels being directed towards
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